God-The Ultimate Teacher

As of Friday, November 21 we are home shooling no more. After 12 weeks of home schooling Sofonyas it was apparent we needed a change so we enrolled him into a small public school with a great ESL teacher.
In my heart and head when we brought Sofonyas home it was important to me to make sure he was well adjusted to his new life and that he and I had spent enough time together to establish a good bond before thinking of anything else. I had envisioned him staying at home with me until next year, next school year that is, but God made it quite obvious that I needed to let go of my visions in order to do what was best for Sof and that it was time.
Sof and my relationship was very strained to say the least. He looked at me as his prison guard only dishing out unfair and unjust punishment called school work on him. He was frustrated and wasn't aware of it or how to communicate it to me, only in acting out and treating me as his worst enemy. I would try to explain to him that if he wanted to go to school he could we just needed to make sure he was ready and wanting to go. He would tell me "NO SCHOOL!" and pout all day. He was missing out on the interaction with other kids his age. Helena and I were no replacement that was obvious. But when I would set up play dates or we would meet other boys his age he would shut down as well. He would not talk to any of us, especially me. I was the enemy there was no doubt about it. I seriously thought we had major issues. Little did I know that it was all about his daily routine and not me.
To make matters worse he would take out his frustration on Blake, Reagan and Caitlin. So things all around were tense, very tense. By the time Greg would get home I would be tied and fried with nothing let to give him but an ear full. I began to question our choice seeing how negatively it was impacting our whole family. I spent many days crying, praying and feeling sorry for myself. Holding on for the fear of the unknown and for selfish reasons to prove I was right.
Then within a couple days two dear friends of mine called me to say they were worried about me and saw the stress we were all under and suggested that I put Sof in school. After much deliberation, about 5 minutes at most I realized they were right so I quickly called the school counselor and the principal to discuss Sof's academic future. It never fails when we let go and let God every falls into place. I met that afternoon with them and within the next 48 hours he was enrolled and starting his first day.
Sof was very mad at me for making this choice, but I tried to explain to him I felt it was best for him and how much fun he would have. I figured it couldn't get any worse than it already was though. He didn't want to be at home and yet he too was afraid of going somewhere. Knowing this the day before he started we made it a big deal around the house and we drove the whole family by his new school. We all took a tour and met his teacher. By the time we left he looked at me with a little smile and said "mom, my school?". I said "yes baby if you want it to be." His smile grew bigger and he said "Yes, oh yes!!"
The next morning I walked him into class where he was quickly greeted by all his classmates. There is even a little boy from Africa whose name is Sofie. He does not speak Amharic, but then either does Sof if you ask him. His English is far from perfect but he has come a long way. He smiled and then said "Bye mom I stay all day". To be honest since I was so still so frustrated at him I was fine to let him stay. I could really use the break as well.
He has been there for 2 weeks now and I can't praise God enough for all the good that has come from this change. Sof from the first day loves school. He is excited and wants to read to me and do his work as soon as he gets home. His relationship with with the kids has greatly improved, it's as if they are all equal now. He loves to tell me stories of all the things he did each day and of his new friends in school. Most of all our relationship is blossoming. He is warm, happy and affectionate to me, looking me in the eye to say "I love you mom" and kiss me on the lips.
My heart melts every night I tuck him into bed and he asks me to stay with him a little longer for more snuggles and giggles.
I am so grateful for God bringing my friends foreword to have the guts to talk to me and for the kids school for taking the time and consideration to do what was best for him. I have learned so much from this situation. I think I was holding on to MY expectations of being successful at home schooling, not realizing that to be a successful mom it's not about us, it's about the success of our children. That I was not failing at home schooling but failing Sof as a mom by holding onto what wasn't right. I don't think doing it much sooner would have been right but I am so thankful I did not let it go any longer.
Since being a stay at home mom I have found myself seeking out ways to feel successful or boost my ego. This sadly was one of those moments by forcing my home schooling visions on Sof. I now realize that I am a good mom by realizing what is best for my children and following through on their behalf. I give thanks to God for teaching me this. For God is the Ultimate teacher, not I!!