Oh my goodness I can't believe I have a "teenager" living in my house. Blake officially, or as he would say legally, became a teen on January 14th. I feel the need to be pinched. The years are flying by like the clouds on a windy day. It seems like just yesterday I found out I was pregnant and felt the flutter of his first movements in the womb. I never, not in my wildest dreams thought I could have given birth to such an amazing young man. He is beyond what I prayed for. His heart is so tender, sensitive and his mind is so beyond his years. I have always said he has a spirit far older than his years on this earth. He has so much going for him and yet he is completely humble to all that he is today and is to become. He is not the crazed monster teenage son I have feared. He is sweet, kind, gentle, reasonable, and fun to be around.
Blake like every 13 year old sadly is stuck on the image of what kids his age around him think and tell him he is. They are all so fragile and oh so insecure in every aspect of their existence. It's scary how much power they have over each other. I somehow thought the older they became the easier it would be to take care of their needs. I am now realizing that he needs Greg and I more now than he did when he was little. Pouring in our confirmations, love, acceptance, trust and guidance around the clock.
As much as it brings me joy to see him seeing the world in such a full view these days it also breaks my heart. His view is not so clear yet and so what he sees isn't always truth or reality. I am having to explain so much of the darkness that exists in our world, wishing I could shield him somehow from all of it, but knowing that I can not nor should not keep him in a bubble. Even though I would like to.
I thank God every day for placing Blake in my arms first. For if any of our other children had come first, I don't think I would be surviving these "teen" years. Blake though true to his age, makes this stage of our human life a delicate balance of firm, sweet and tender.
My hope and prayer for him is that God continue to shine his light upon him and keep his heart pure!!! For him to see himself as Greg and I see him and for the man that God is molding him into. Father God I pray you shield his spirit and his eyes from those things that are not from you. Keep him focused on what is true and good. Let him see and feel the joy of his age and the freedom and wonderful discovery that comes with it. Let him find trust and wisdom in those you place in his life. Hold him close so that he may feel you with every beat of his heart.
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