Bio-Adopted is there a difference?

The other day I caught myself reacting to Parker's attitude a little more sternly than I had with Reagan who had just committed the same crime. It got me to ponder do I treat both Parker and Helena differently. I tell myself and everyone that I don't but do I?

After some deep thought and reflection I realized that it wasn't because my heart loved them less or differently than our bio kids. I love all our differently for each one of them is a uniquely woven individual. Sometimes I admit that when they act out I take it more seriously. I think it is because I don't have the history with both Parker and Helena that I do with the rest. So I question normal age appropriate acting out behavior as adoption/adjustment issues. In addition, I don't have the memories, the warm fuzzy ones that I had with our other children from the first breath of life in this world with me. Which has made me realize that they are probably missing those memories as well. So I have been very conscious of creating them in my mind and sharing my thoughts of how precious they must have been. And how I can picture them as babies and how I would have loved them and adored them. Creating the pictures and memories in our minds, if nothing else, to give us a little more to pull from. It seems to be making a difference with Parker. He really enjoys my stories of his younger years, especially when Blake, Reagan and Caitlin so often ask me to replay their stories. With Helena it is definitely more for me and in doing so I am finding myself enjoying her terrible two's with a little more sweetness.

I without a doubt love Parker and Helena as much. They are our children in my heart just like the Blake, Reagan and Caitlin. I would walk across fire for all of them. They are all so precious and different. The only difference in my love for them is their uniqueness and not because they were from my womb or from my heart. Each one holds a special piece of my heart!!